by Sam Hawcroft
A powerful evening organised by Preston WI brought together campaigners, charities, community leaders and support organisations to raise awareness of domestic abuse – and to ask what more can be done locally to help those affected.
The No More Violence Against Women and Girls awareness event was held at Preston Community Hall on Monday, October 5, as part of Domestic Abuse Awareness Month and ahead of the United Nations’ 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence.
Organiser Mary Wood opened the evening by stressing that violence against women and girls was “not just a women’s issue” but one for the whole community, with the event intended to encourage conversations, increase understanding and turn awareness into action.
A letter of support from Queen Camilla, who has been a prominent advocate for victims of domestic abuse, was also read out.
In it, the Queen said she was sure the evening would do much to raise awareness of what she described as “heinous crimes” and added that, in doing so, it could “touch, change and perhaps even save lives across East Yorkshire”.
Those attending were also given white ribbons to wear in support of the campaign.
One of the main speakers was Anne Marie McLoughlin, of Westwood Domestic Abuse Training, a former police officer with 31 years’ service who has spent much of her career working on domestic abuse and violence against women and girls.
She explained that domestic abuse went far beyond physical violence and could include sexual, financial, psychological and emotional abuse as well as controlling and coercive behaviour.
Anne Marie said abuse was fundamentally about “power and control”, and warned that victims could gradually become isolated from friends, family and work while losing confidence and independence.
She also outlined practical ways that friends, families, workplaces and community organisations could help.
These included schemes such as Ask for Angela, which enables people who feel unsafe in pubs and other venues to discreetly seek help, and Clare’s Law, under which someone concerned about a partner can ask police to check whether they have a history of violence.
Anne Marie urged people never to ask a victim why they did not “just leave”, pointing out that separation can be one of the most dangerous stages of an abusive relationship.
Instead, she said people should listen, believe victims, remain patient and offer practical support, whether through a safe word, a meeting place or accompanying someone to Women’s Aid, another support service or the police.
She also suggested ways in which WI branches could make themselves safer and more accessible, including displaying discreet information about support services, considering the circumstances of women who cannot appear in photographs or on social media and appointing domestic abuse champions.
The work of the East Riding Domestic Abuse Trust was outlined by Amy Wells, a domestic abuse and family law solicitor.
The volunteer-run charity provides emergency support to people who have fled abusive relationships, helping with essentials such as cookers, fridges, furniture, school uniforms and children’s activities when other funding is unavailable.
Amy said many families left abusive homes with little more than the clothes they were wearing and that even relatively small donations could make an immediate difference.
Rev Dr Sue Pulko also spoke during the evening about recognising less visible forms of abuse and the importance of people being prepared to notice when something may be wrong.
Sally Dearlove, from Hull Women’s Aid, then gave an insight into the range of support provided by the charity, which celebrated its 50th anniversary last year.
Hull Women’s Aid operates refuge accommodation for women and children as well as a 24-hour domestic abuse helpline, outreach services and support for children.
Sally explained that children living with domestic abuse could be deeply affected and that part of the charity’s work involved helping to rebuild relationships between mothers and children.
She also highlighted the practical needs facing women arriving at a refuge, sometimes in the middle of the night with no possessions, with donations of toiletries, underwear, toys, books and other essentials always welcome.
Education, she said, also had a key role to play in breaking the cycle of abuse, with work under way to take more awareness schemes into schools.
Hedon mayor Cllr Suzie Wright said she had been deeply moved by what she had heard and wanted to turn that response into practical help.
She offered free visits to Little Haven Farm, the animal rescue, petting and education centre she runs in Hedon, for families supported by domestic abuse services.
As a qualified primary school teacher, she also offered to help organisations develop educational materials or make connections with schools.
Cllr Wright said: “If I can do anything I can to help those people that need it, especially to stop the violence against women and girls, then I absolutely will.
“Please get in touch and we’ll see what we can do together because, absolutely, together we can cross bridges and make a difference.”
Towards the close of the evening, Anne Mitchell, from the National Federation of Women’s Institutes’ board of trustees, said the most important question was not simply what those attending had heard – but what they would do next.
She said domestic abuse was not “somebody else’s problem” but something happening within local communities, and called on policymakers, employers, community leaders, friends and relatives all to play their part.
Anne also announced that the NFWI was launching a Domestic Abuse Champions initiative across England, Wales and the Crown dependencies, with the aim of eventually having a trained champion in every WI.
She said: “Awareness is not enough. Silence is not an option. Change will only happen if we give voice to it.”
The initiative will be rolled out during the coming year, and Anne said she expected the East Yorkshire Federation of WIs, which also covers Hull, to be among those leading the way.
Withernsea Ladies’ Choir rounded off the formal part of the evening with a selection of songs, while proceeds from the raffle, the sale of homemade cakes and donations were pledged to Women’s Aid.
Where to find help:
DVAP – East Riding – Confidential advice and support for people affected by domestic abuse.
01482 396368
Hull Women’s Aid – Refuge, outreach support and a confidential 24-hour helpline.
0800 048 9944
East Riding Domestic Abuse Trust – Practical and financial help for adults and children escaping domestic abuse.
07543 468305
Strength to Change – Support for men concerned about their abusive behaviour and who want help to change.
01482 613403 / hullstrengthtochange.org
White Ribbon UK – Works with men and boys to help end violence against women and girls.
01422 417327
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – Free, confidential support, 24 hours a day.
0808 2000 247
Humberside Police – Call 999 in an emergency or 101 for non-emergencies.
